The Corrupt Bastards Club

The night before my written exams to get my master's degree I wasn't sure I'd make it. I had been studying my ass off for months and I was petrified in the what-the-hell-was-I-thinking-I-don't-know-anything-about-literature kinda way. My stomach hurt and I was concerned about whether or not I could sleep. To keep my mind off of my impending failure (or so it worked out in my head), Greg and I decided to go to a movie. It was a tricky decision becuase it had to be funny - I couldn't waste any of my critical thinking brain cells on an emotional dramatic movie - but it couldn't be a slapstick comedy becuase I needed something to think about when I was falling asleep. Otherwise I'd try to remember all of my main points and that would that would inevitably keep me up all night. If/when I finally fell asleep I would try to writes my exams in my sleep. This happened everytime I had a big paper looming. In my dreams, though, I never could seem to write a clear and intellegent sentence. So I'd slave away all night without ever being able get any real rest. It makes for a terrible nights sleep and, because I am really cranky when I am tired, my day, along with everyone else's day, would suck as a result.

We decided to go see Thank You For Smoking at the fancy-pants full-priced Fox Tower in downtown Portland. One of the funny things about the movie was that there the firearms, smoking, and alcohol lobbyists called themselves the MOD squad (Merchants of Death) (bookmark this in your pretty little head*). It was perfect. I laughed, I was engaged, and later that night I was able to think about how that guy spun his words to make smoking sound like such a good idea instead of worrying about the next morning's looming catastrophe.

I was reading the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner's website the other day (which is the one thing I miss about Fairbanks. It has the best letters to the editor of any paper in the whole wide world - I'd betcha $100). The headline read:FBI looks for ‘Corrupt Bastards Club’ hats in probe. It was a story questioning the financial relationship between VECO, a giant oil field sevices company and a heavy hitter in Alaska politics, and several members of the Alaska State Legistlature. After an initial story questioning the relationship hit the news, the legistlatures formed The Corrupt Bastards Club and made commemorative hats (or so it seems). At any rate, the FBI later raided several legislator's offices looking for the "seizure of documents 'concerning, reflecting or relating to any payment' to lawmakers by VECO executives... [and] documents about contracts, agreements or employment of legislators provided by VECO." Also authorized by the warrant were "any physical garments (including hats) bearing any of the following logos or phrases: ‘CBC,’ ‘Corrupt Bastards Club,’ ‘Corrupt Bastards Caucus,’ ‘VECO.’”

I can't decided what I love more: the fact that these guys made hats saying The Corrupt Bastards Club or that the Fairbanks paper put the words "Corrupt Bastards" on the front page in big, bold lettering. I do love me some Alaskan politics, but who knew I didn't have to watch Thank You For Smoking. All I had to do was wait a few months and read the News-Miner.


*I stole this tactic from Megan's blog.