I woke up this morning thinking that perhaps it seems silly that I am having a hard time adjusting to life in Alaska. After all, I did spend 5 years in Fairbanks and Anchorage is, by all accounts, more cosmopolitan. The problem is that I was ready to leave Alaska when I left. I went to grad school in Portland in the hopes of getting it out of my system and realizing my home was in Alaska. Instead I rediscovered how much I Love and Adore Ptown. I feel at home there. I would walk down Hawthorne to my bus stop and physically smile because I was happy with my lot in life. I fell back in love with Portland - and city living - and I wanted to stay there. I made fantastic friends, my family was there and my niece sat on my lap and stole my soda almost daily, and I loved my job and had great opportunities for the future. It didn't help that I went to great cities like Paris, Sydney, Melbourne, and New York and I remembered how invigorated being in the middle of a concrete jungle makes me feel. I am 25 and I want the city life.
But it wasn't in the stars (and my mom won't rearrange them for me). Greg and I are back here for at least 2 full years - it was 1 full year, but that is another entry. We then plan to do a living-in-both-places bit, but I can't help but feel skeptical and am petrified it is forever.
Alas, I am unhappy. I am doing my bestest to make the most of this situation. Greg even tells me he admires my efforts to be happy. The main problem is the things that everyone loves about Anchorage (the wilderness, the rugged beauty, the adventure) I don't want at this point in my life. I want alt fashion, happy hours, walking as a way of life, and 5 great coffee shops within spitting distance from my house.
This is my predicament. I thought I should explain as to not confuse any of my beloved Alaskan friends (who don't live in Anchorage with me) or anyone else who has been harboring secret feelings of confusion.
I had some trouble with comments in my last entry. If you wanna add a comment for the previous entry, just use the comment button on this one and we'll all try not to get confused.
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7 comments:
First comment! First comment! :::endzone dance:::
In other news, Mary is my hero. And she's still the king of *my* concrete jungle.
you're also my superhero. Mary Mac will be your name and excellence will be your superpower.
we all miss you and love you and wish you the best.
glad you've started this bloggy thing.
So I'm stading here with tears on my face reading your first paragraph. We miss you here so much and love you more. Otherwise, I've been giggling. I love that you're blogging. See you soon. XOXO
i love your picture, mare. you're the cutest. i'm sorry about the whole alaska bummer. maybe you should take to the open road, ride the rails, live life raw and real in the great wilds of alaska...? um? or something?
okay, americanos and ridiculous heels are funner. but "2 years"? that's GOOD, right? i thought maybe it was supposed to be "forever"? 2 years is better.
love you. lisa
Some old guy once told me, (or was it me talking to myself again),"I remember my most trying times the best". But then again he was considered a little twisted.
Well, Mamie (as your niece calls you)
You will need your superpowers there, but hunting and fishing superpowers!
You must do some target practice and other Alaskan pastimes after your afternoon tea. Shall I give you my 22, dear?
Do you need fishing poles for your next birthday?
Maybe you can make friends with Santa. He might be free this summer.
mom
I have to say that I am a little overwhelmed by the niceness of these comments. Not that I expected my friends and family to be mean, but, well, it feels nice.
And thanks to Tom for the comforting words - even Real Alaskans can sometimes miss Oregon...
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