Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

In the midst of my kitchen crisis I was all in a tizzy, but my first-friend Jillian and I had a date to go see the best feature selection of the Anchorage International Film Festival. I showed up for the movie, called Journey from the Fall, and vented a bit to Jillian before it began. Once the movie started, however, I was completely caught up in the story and about halfway through thought back to my mini temper tantrum I had about something as silly as wacky electric in my kitchen and was overcome with...I'm not sure what. It wasn't shame because before I walked into the movie I felt justifiably upset. And even in retrospect, sparks coming out of outlets should ignite some anxiety for me if for no other reason than to get it fixed. I guess it was perspective - I'm not sure if it makes sense to have an overwhelming sense of perspective, but that is the only thing I can come up with and this feeling has lasted several days.

At dinner after Jillian and I discussed the film as a text - you know, talking about the structure (which was amazingly and beautifully confusing to further the underlying emotion of the story (very much like Huong's Memory of a Pure Spring which is also interesting in that they are both Vietnamese stories discussing the Vietnam War and used the time-confusion-for-the-higher-purpose-of-the-story in two very different mediums)), the acting, direction, characters, writing, etc.

It was the next day that I began to notice the impact this movie had on me. I kept finding myself trying to figure out how to make the world a better place and asking myself what I am doing to positively impact those around me. I was unable to sleep because I was outlining how lucky I am to have been born into this country. I sat with my cup of tea staring out the window trying to figure out how I could better understand the stories of other people and cultures and where my responsibility to them lie. I asked whether the life I am leading is to my full potential. I noticed those talking in a different language at the store and admired their perseverance and appreciated their place in two cultures as an enviable position. To be able to see out of this culture and society to appreciate that we (and I) am not the center of the world seems like a tremendous gift. I went to lunch with my neighbor, who grew up in Russia during communist rule, and we talked about what her life was like then and now and the short and long term effects of the political upheaval for her country and family.

I am used to having this happen when I read books. I often spend the time after I complete a book looking at what is happening through their eyes. I am used to books challenging the way I want to live my life and the kind of person I want to be. But this doesn't happen very often with movies. I think that is why I tend to write about tv shows and movies in this blog rather than all of the books I read. The books, and this particular film, are a part of my journey in a way that movies and tv are not. I can think about shows and analyze their parts but they rarely infiltrate the way I perceive my life, which is exactly what this movie did. So I am left to search out the reasons why this film calls me to action and what I can do as a result of stepping inside the lives of re-education camp prisoners and boat people.

The only thing I can say, and none of this has much substance, is that I have been thinking of the hardships facing so many in the world and what I should, could, and most importantly, will do to find the best in me and give that to others. And about the bravery and sacrafices that underlie each immigrant that is in our country and my responsibility toward helping to make their new life better than the one they left.